Written by Kamesha Gordon
Life is a gift! The chance to pull fresh air into our lungs daily, feel the sun shining on our faces, meet new people, and pursue our goals, are undeniable blessings. But there are many circumstances that can cause us to view our lives, as curses! It is easy to fall into despair—easy to believe that our painful experiences or existence, are all that life has to offer.
Sometimes, our suffering is a product of being victimized by others. At other times, our trials are the result of our own poor decision making. Let’s be honest—it happens. But either way, we are not bound to the life we lived in the past or even the life we live presently.
We can obtain a new life, as long as our hearts continue to beat! We can escape physical places of bondage, as well as prisons of the mind! We can love our life, be proud of the work we do, and look toward the future with-- not only a hopeful heart-- but with an excited spirit!
The first step is believing—believing in yourself and your God given ability to not only survive-- but to thrive! Let’s talk about how!
Make peace with everything and everyone that you can. Forgive those who have wronged you. Ask for the forgiveness of those who you have hurt. Whether or not they accept your apology is their decision, but you must extend it. Pay back any debts you can, or get on a payment plan with that individual. Think restitution, restoration, and recompense. And do your best to settle all matters. Accept the past and anything you endured or that others endured at your hands, during that time—and then, move on.
Refuse to live in that mental space. You cannot change the past.
Mentally replaying the ugliness of the past, steals your freedom and your future. Stop punishing yourself. When it is over, it is over.
Also, make good decisions in the future. Be cautious and wise to avoid a repeat in trauma or dysfunction. Every day that you spend doing the correct things, will grant you greater peace about your past.
2. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
What does your new life look like? What type of character do you have during that life? What level of education do you have? How do spend your days? What do you do at night? Are you an avid reader? What type of friends and associates do you have? Do you help others? Do you feel safe? Are you doing well financially? Do you have a good reputation? Do you want to live somewhere other than where you live now?
Ask all these questions of the new life, which is consequently the new you! Write down exactly what you want out of your new life. And then write down a plan to achieve each feature of your new life. What are the obstacles? How can they be overcome?
Ask every pertinent question. Brainstorm. And then answer it. Think outside the box!
3. SET A TIMELINE
When do you want your new life to start? And what sign will assure you that a new life has begun? What will be your starting or changing point?
Begin to set a series of dates to meet the goals that are the steps, to the new life. “Someday” ends up being “no day”.
So make sure you have tangible goals and due dates for each element of the plan. That is also the only way to track your progress.
And if there is someone you trust—tell them. That way, they can hold you accountable for making the necessary changes.
4. LEARN FROM OTHERS
Watch those around you. Begin to pay attention. What have others done to succeed in certain areas? What behavioral patterns do you see in those who fail to live a purposeful and thriving life? Learn from the victories and mistakes of others around you and abroad.
Consider signing up for THE EXPERIENCE PROJECT and get acquainted with people facing similar situations to yours-- it is an extraordinary and encouraging community.
5. GATHER YOUR RESOURCES
Most challenges are financial and resource based. Begin to save, and gather your resources. Seek additional means to earn income. And be patient during this time. It may take longer than you like. Honestly, it may take years to get the funds to complete your plan. Don’t forget why it’s worth it—because your new life is waiting on you!
6. GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
Change is a challenge. You may be tempted to return to your old ways or habits when the pursuit of the new life becomes overwhelming, scary, and uncomfortable. Prepare yourself for difficulty and to be mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually stretched! It is similar to becoming physically fit. The running and weight lifting hurt, at first. They exhaust you and may discourage you from continuing. Push through it. You’ll learn to love it! Because you’ll know the discomfort means you’re getting closer and closer to your goal!
7. DREAM! DREAM! DREAM!
Dream-- in order to take the limits off! Dream to stir your creativity. Dream to visualize the places you can go and things you can do. Visualization is a powerful tool. Can you see yourself 5 years from now, exactly where you want to be? Or close to it? What about 10 years from now? Be daring and courageous and imaginative when you dream! Combine that with the correct actions and you cannot lose!
8. FIND WAYS TO STAY MOTIVATED
Read motivational quotes daily. Read books. Watch motivational speakers on YouTube. Never stop feeding yourself inspiration and encouragement. Yesterday’s meal won’t stop your body’s need for food today. Your dreams are the same way. They get faint daily, and therefore must be fed daily. If you don’t pour knowledge and wisdom into this journey toward a new life, you’ll never have it.
Kamesha Gordon is a Creative Non-Fiction Writer. She is a SAFIGIan writer and continuously volunteers in addition to her Freelance Creative Writing. View her profile here.
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