Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Everything a Girl Needs to Understand before a Relationship

This post was written by Karin via UN Online Volunteering Service.

Everything a girl needs to know before getting into a relationship

When you meet a person for the first time you put on your best behavior. So does the other person. You won’t completely reveal your flaws. Once you get to know the person better you realize what kind of annoying habits the other one has. But already in the relationship it’s too late. You are all tangled up with feelings and stuff…no way to get out of that situation that easily.

All kidding aside, there are some important things to know before getting into a relationship. Those will mainly help prevent that you wake up one morning and feel like in a nightmare.

If the guy truly likes you he will wait until you got it all figured out. There is no need to rush. Following points might help you to see the situation filled up with feelings a little clearer:

You are ready to do your best for someone, every day

We are all human. We can’t be happy, perfect, and loveable 24/7. We can’t always want what our partner wants. But we can give our best effort. Our best effort to be a good partner, a good friend, a good lover, a good listener…you get my point. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being and working together. Are you willing to compromise and sacrifice? Every now and then sitting down with something and watching a TV show you hate and he loves? Going to events you find boring but are important to him? You don’t need to be perfect to do your best; you just need to be willing to give your best.

People change.

This is a fact. The guy you meet won’t be the same after a couple weeks, months, or a year. He will change! At the beginning you have this awesome guy who always pays, makes you laugh all day long, who chooses an evening in front of the TV watching “Sex and the City” instead of going out with his friends, who basically does everything for you. Once we’re committed and invested in a relationship, you’ll see the real him. I’m afraid that includes occasional burps or nights out with his friends…but a true boyfriend will still be the funny, charming, and amazing men you fell for.

You need to communicate

One of the biggest issues between men and women is the lack of communication. If you are mad: Tell him! Don’t give him little hints and hope the poor guy will figure out the problem by himself. Don’t play games. If something bothers you: Tell him! Your answer when he asks “What is wrong?” should only be “nothing” if literally everything is fine with you. He might be the type of guy that answers with a one word text. If it bothers you, let him know. Your time together is way too valuable for the “I-have-to-figure-out-why-she’s-mad-game”.

What does this commitment mean for him and you?

It is important that you define what you are together. Does he “just” want to have someone to hang out with? Do you “just” want someone to talk to and have fun with? Or, do you guys really want to work on your relationship to make it stronger and more profound. Having an on-and-off relationship can be stressful and boundaries and rules are different for everyone. A healthy relationship means constantly working on it. If one of you doesn’t want to get into something too serious it might be better to stay “just” friends. 

If you want something long lasting and strong you will be rewarded with a partner who will stay strong at your side. If someone wants to be in your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it. 

About Author

Karin, 23, is a world traveler currently on search of a new travel goal. She is bilingual, having been raised by a German dad and a French mom - also reason for exceptional and unnecessary strict table manners. She is studying International Business Administration.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Heartwarming Perspective of Autism

Hello, I am Mark* It is nice to meet you.

There is something you would like to get to know about me. I am a man with autism. I was diagnosed with the condition when I was very young but I do not consider it a hindrance to my personal development. Rather, I look at it more as an opportunity to get better everyday whatever career I should pursue. To be frank, I do not have one yet but I am still striving for it.

I live by the quote, "Don't judge me until you know me. Don't underestimate me until you challenge me. And don't talk about me until you've talked to me."

It means you have to step back as you look into my sincere and honest words I am putting into before making judgment. I do not care if anyone hates me for whatever I do. I do not expect everyone to understand my journey, I am just saying how I feel.

Being happy is a part of my personality and is associated with instilling and exuding confidence in yourself and others.

I will end this composition by sharing a poem on autism and two Namaste quotes. I hope your analytic and critical thinking skills will help you digest and understand behind its meaning. I have a poem to share with you. I hope you like it.

Painful Autism by Katie Kagan

This is our life, not yours
If you care, Please do not stare
When you laugh, we break in half,
We are real, we can feel,
We understand that,
We were not planned,
We are human, My mind spins,
Like pins, Because we don't speak well... We are seen as shy
I cry for my girlfriend and I,
We try so hard,
To deal with our God-given card, I want you to understand...
Our autism was not planned,
We have autism from but, We have worth.


Now I present you two Namaste quotes.

"On the mountains of truth, you can never climb in vain; either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow."
                                                                       - Frederick Nietzsche -

"Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success."
                                                             - Swami Vivekananda -

This concludes my composition.

*name has been changed for privacy.

Next time you meet a person with Autism, look beyond their condition and see the challenges they have overcome, the strength they bear and the person that they are. Pass this beautiful message on.

Friday, 5 December 2014

A Girl Grows Up: Puberty


As the girl turns 10, all over the world, her life is surely about to change. Depending on where she lives, she will be treated differently but mostly, all girls will pass trough the same thing. One thing is sure, life is life, whether you are born in the suburb of New York or in the jungle of Nepal. The needs life are the same, expectations are also the same.

Girls, wherever you are, someone somewhere on this planet is going trough what you are going through. The difference is how aware are you of yourself, your environment, your right, your duties, your future and the opportunities around you.

For sure by the time you are 11, 12 you know very little about what awaits you.
In these article we are going to talk about what happens during puberty.

The Changes You will Notice at Puberty


I am 10, 12, hurray! Happy birthday, What a wonderful day, the small girl is now almost a teenager. Little did she know that major changes are about to happen. To start with her body; she notices something popping on her chest, woaaah. Her friends too, they tease each other, maybe laugh about it, but for some it is devastating and they feel ashamed so they start to hide their growing chest. They put on heavy clothes to do so and can even withdraw from others especially if they are the first to develop breasts among their peers.

The good news is, all girls go through this and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It is the first most beautiful thing happening to you, that chest has to develop because in you there is a woman and a woman is precious. So be happy, love it.


Then comes the period, also known as menstruation! What is that word again? Have you ever heard of it before? Shhhh, it is top secret, only the big girls talk about my little girl, we are going to tell you what it is so that you don't freak out when it happens. Shall we all go through it then? 

Yes, if you are a girl  (woman) there is no other way to it. We are created to carry future generation inside of us before it is born. For that they must be preparation, so we have in our womb a kind of oven, it is meant to carry a baby when we are old enough to support it. 

Every month, you will experience a flow of blood coming out from your private part, it comes out without your help. For urine, you feel the pressure and can go to toilet but this one comes out by itself. A normal period lasts 3 to 7 days. For some you'll feel nauseous, weak, uncomfortable and in some cases even to the point of vomiting and stomach cramps . I admit it is no fun but it is just one of the amazing things a woman's body does. 

Where is all that blood from? In easy word, as the womb is preparing to receive a baby, if there is no baby, the womb surface will die just as dead skin on our body and peels of. The cycle will continue until we reach menopause (age of not being able to have children) which is at about 45 - 50 years old.

What do you do  when it happens?

1. If you have a bigger person around preferably mother or sister, don't be shy to tell them.

2. Wear a pad or wool in your pants to avoid messing yourself. Change the sanitary wear once it is full. Dispose off appropriately (it cannot be flushed).

3. Keep clean at all time, bath at least  twice a day and change whenever you feel wet.

4. Be discrete, not everyone should notice that you are having your period by your countenance and your cleanliness.

5. check you bedding to be sure that they are not stained if yes, clean the spot right away.

6. Always check the bathroom,toilet to be sure you have left it clean for the next person.

The secret is to keep clean at all times. It will help you avoid infections, bad odor or embarrassment...

Before you know it, you'll be used to it. So don't feel sad.


The small girls skin, is changing too, becoming smooth, but her face oh oh, pimples. Disaster, my face, what do I do?

Don't worry my friend, they are not there to stay, they will disappear the same way they came, it is just a matter of time. Just find a simple soap which will not irritate your skin, avoid fatty foods and body lotion on your face. Use baby powder yourself and eventually, you will be fine.


Body shape, hum!  The small girl is becoming a lady, The hips are becoming large, for some it happens earlier than others. Doesn't matter, we are all getting there.

Now my dear, you have seen how many changes have happened to your body alone, but in all this, do not forget to let your mind and soul grow with you. Keep reading, keep learning, keep knowing and keep applying, spread the good news.

This article was written by Mary Mwema.

You may also like to read:

Read more about Menstrual Hygiene here by Tahiya


Mary Mwema is an entrepreneur, wife, mother who has raised six (five girls) and Secretary of SAFIGI Outreach Foundation. She uses her experience as a woman to empower girls and give sound counsel.