Monday, 21 December 2015

If a girl wants to volunteer

by Hadassah Louis






At SAFIGI Outreach Foundation, we believe that anyone can make a difference no matter who you are, where you come from or what your qualifications are.

It is for this reason that we create volunteer opportunities that anyone can do, at a maximal time and in a way that will be beneficial in raising awareness on key causes, spreading safety education lesson plans and also transforming societies to development for each and every member - all through volunteerism.

You can join us today. Contact us for more details on how you can volunteer.

Saturday, 12 December 2015

If a girl wants a support group

Video by Sontia Levy, Founder of Women Talk... Little Girls Listen




'Man is not an island' is a common saying. Another common African proverb states that 'If I go alone, I go faster, if we go together, I reach further.'


The human being is a social creature, therefore we need each other to survive, and it is true, there is strength in numbers. In modern day, technology has made it easier to connect. This, however, is not enough as issues such as loneliness, depression and Social anxiety, to name just a few, continues to afflict even the average person.

Having a support group can help elevate mental illness, suicidal thoughts, loneliness and more, and the support group can provide unity, safety, support, advice and love, to name a few.

So where and how do you find a support group?

1. Join a club with people who enjoy the same activities as you.

2. When online, follow Facebook pages, tumblr, or blogs that highlight your values. Connect through commenting, contributing posts and being an active participant.

3. Volunteer. Giving back to others gives a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Besides, you are more likely to find kind and empowered individuals while Volunteering.

4. Start a club. If you cannot find your tribe or people who can relate to you, then go ahead and start a club for people like you. Sometimes all you need is to make the first step.

5. Don't wait until you find your support group to do the positive things in your life that you have always wanted. Start now!

Saturday, 5 December 2015

If a girl is attacked

By Amy, SAFIGI Volunteer





An attack is a physical, emotional or mental confrontation that is aimed at causing harm to the victim. An attack can be lauched by anyone regardless of age and gender, and at any time.


If you are faced with an attack, do the following:

1. Take a Step Back


The easiest response to an attack on us is to react immediately. This is an important thing if the danger is imminent, but if there is time to think of run away - it is best to avoid the situation.


2. Understand the Attack and What the Attacker Wants


Why is the attack happening and what does the attacker aim to achieve are key points you need to know when dealing with a volatile situation in order to know the best response.


3. What Kind of Attack is It?


An attack can be physical, emotional, mental, or psychological. Understand the type of attack you are facing so that your response can be effective.


4. Defend Yourself


If the situation cannot be avoided, find a way to defend yourself. Taking some effective self defense classes will equip you physically and also prep you mentally.

For any type of attack, see a professional and never be afraid to ask for help.


5. Resolve Any Issues that can prompt another Attack


Sometimes defending yourself can only resolve an issue for a short while. Find a way to put an end to an environment that is hazardous to your health and safety by consulting a professional in that field. Be sure that your solutions are legal.





In all of this, remember that an attack is never your fault. Victims should never carry the guilt of the perpetrators.

Be safe.

Saturday, 28 November 2015

If a girl feels unsafe

By Claudia via UN Online Volunteering




Safety is an important element in daily life. In fact, it is so crucial to have safety that it is listed the second most needed necessity in life just after food and water, according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Safety goes beyond just taking measures to avoid incidents or accidents. Safety is a mental state as well as a way of life.

Emotional, mental, and physical health are all are integral part of being safe. What we eat, where we sleep, the relationships wenform also determine our safety level.

A lack in any of the above mentioned areas can cause us to feel unsafe. Feeling unsafe is detrimental to our wellness because it leads to fear, which can then lead to trust issues, wrong decisions or being victimized at the hands of others or circumstances.



In the above video, UN Volunteer for SAFIGI tells us what to do when we feel unsafe.


Saturday, 21 November 2015

If a girl is being catcalled

Video by Bogdan via UN Volunteers






Post written by Karin 

How to respond when men tease you (as a girl/woman) when you're minding your own business or simply walking down the street.


Imagine: You’re walking down the street. It’s a nice sunny day outside and you’re wearing your favorite dress or those cute little shorts you just bought. You feel great and you are on the way to meet your friend. You pass a group of guys and then suddenly you hear one of them say: “Look at that sexy bitch.” What is you reaction? Do you feel flattered? Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel disrespected?

This scenario of cat-calling is experienced pretty much by every woman at least once in her life.
Some might say that women overreact by disliking and feeling uncomfortable when being cat called. But who are those people who allow themselves to call out to girls and women, and judge them?


It is never ok to cat call a girl.
Once, I was walking down the street with a good friend of mine. It doesn’t matter how she was dressed at this point because the men at the side of the road would have said something in every situation. We passed by them and one of them yelled: “You should wear fewer clothes because I would love to see your curves.” My friend stopped. Turned around and went up to the guy. Her first sentence was: “Is that what your mother raised you to do when you see a girl?”, following that she gave him a whole run down on how she felt like. That she felt diminished. Disrespected. Uncomfortable. Harassed. In the end she asked him what he would do if someone would cat call his mum, sister, cousin, or girlfriend and how he would feel about it. We did not wait for his response. We left the scene.

Was that the best respond to give to this guy?
To be honest, I don’t know. There is no general response. Sometimes, it is better to not turn around and call the guy out. First of all, it is important that you don’t find yourself in a dangerous situation. A guy that is already teasing women without a reason might not be the smartest and in the worst case he can become physically aggressive. Especially, if you are walking home by yourself at night or after the club.  

When to respond?
Before you call him out make sure YOU are safe. Are people around you that could support you? People who witnessed the scene? Are your friends with you? Is there even a security man in front of a club, or a bar man that heard the guy? In some cases it is smarter to ignore whatever the person was saying and to get out of the situation as fast as you can. To walk away is not a sign of weakness! It means you chose to be the smarter and stronger person.

 How to respond to a guy teasing you?
The guy will expect you either ignore him or to shoot back a smart ass response so that he can start a discussion with you. A good way to respond is following: Go up to the guy, and tell him how you feel. Yes, he might joke around and more importantly he doesn’t want to lose his face in front of his buddies. But keep going. Get out all the verbs you have in store such as worthless, raped, diminished, disrespected, harassed, hurt, disgusted, and so on. Even if he doesn’t show a specific reaction, his brain will be racing. Keep in mind: A lot of guys don’t think they are doing anything wrong…but maybe next time he’ll think twice about calling out a girl.  


In the end it is your decision if you want to call the guy out or if you walk away without acknowledging his existence. But always be sure that you stay safe, because that is more important than teaching any guy a lesson!


Watch more here.


ABOUT AUTHOR


Karin Philippczyk
Karin, 23, is a world traveler currently on search of a new travel goal. She is bilingual, having been raised by a German dad and a French mom - also reason for exceptional and unnecessary strict table manners. She is studying International Business Administration.


Saturday, 14 November 2015

If a girl is always jealous

By Viona Muliru via UN Volunteers





How you ever been so jealous that everything else did not matter to you? Yes, jealousy can blind you. There are two types of jealousy. The jealousy when you feel lust for something that is not yours or envy someone because of who or what someone else is. And then there is the jealousy where you strongly want to protect what or who is yours from others.

The jealousy type which involves protecting what or who you love is healthy, but only if expressed in healthy ways. However, if you become overprotective of the one you love, it is possible that you will appear insecure and they may start to feel trapped in the relationship.

Always remember, just because you are in a relationship with someone does not mean you own them. Relationships should be mutual, where both of you want to stay in it every new day. If you have to build walls around you partner for them not to leave, then that becomes a dictatorship relationship, which is very unhealthy.

To deal with this type of jealousy, talk genuinely to you partner about your feelings without acting like you feel is there fault. Talk about what your partner can do to keep you from feeling jealous without compromising his standards or your relationship. Meet him halfway and lead him to meet you half way so that both of you will be part of improving your relationship.

source: www.knowledgeoverflow.com
The second type of jealousy is a dangerous one. It is also called the green eyed monster and I am sure you have felt it sometime in your life. Jealous emotions are negative feelings toward someone else because you want what it is that they have.  
This jealousy hinders your personal progress because it affects your ability to focus on yourself and positive emotions that you have potential to build. More than that, jealousy is like a poison that continues to grow if it is constantly fed. This affects emotional wellbeing and the ability to judge situations correct, besides, it is quite a burden to the heart.

If you are constantly jealous of someone else, begin by asking yourself the true reason you are jealous.  Knowing  why you are feeling jealous will help you to understand who you are and what can trigger negative emotions in you. Talk to a trusted friend or loved one about your struggle with jealousy. Stop justifying your jealousy and stop believing that other people should not be entitled to nice things just because you don’t have them.

Don’t feed the green eyed monster under your bed and it will go away eventually.


Saturday, 7 November 2015

If a girl has trust issues

By Amanda via UN Volunteers




Trust is like a mirror, you can’t fix it if it’s broken, so they say. They never mention that you can easily walk over the shattered pieces even when you thought you had it all cleaned up. Yes, that is trust, once it is broken, it is not only hard to put back together but will potentially hurt you even more.

Why trust anyone at all, you may ask, it only gives someone a chance to hurt us. Yes there is a risk someone can hurt your heart but there is more than equal chance that someone can also bless your heart.

Trust is the strongest foundation any relationship can have and without trust, a healthy relationship cannot last. Human society grew to what it is today by relationship with one another and for relationships to be formed you will need to trust someone in order to relate to them no matter the type of relationship.

So what do you do if your ability to trust has been broken by disappointment, betrayal , heart break or something else? It is okay to be skeptical if your gut tells you something is wrong but losing the ability to trust is actually causing you to judge people before you have a real chance to meet them. It draws you to make assumptions that are wrong and possibly harmful.

Being unable to trust is actually a burden to the heart because you will have the thought that every person is out there to hurt you which will prevent you from building meaningful connection with other people.

It’s true, there are bad people out there, users or those who just want to waste our time but we have to learn to separate who is good for us and who can be harmful for us by trusting our gut. Not being able to trust clouds our judgment.



Have you been struggling with trust issues? First, you will have to admit to yourself that you have trust issues. Secondly, do not justify the reason you cannot trust everyone. I know your experience is real and there to guide you but true happiness sometimes comes with a risk. 

Surround yourself with positive people and if you see a valid sign that someone is up to no good with you, trust your gut and avoid them. It is okay to talk about this with your loved ones and even visit a therapist for counseling if your problem is too deep.

Click here to watch more.

ABOUT AMANDA
Amanda is currently an Organizational Communication student from De La Salle University. Usually found composing songs, reading, writing stories or blogging, she's a girl with a wide range and variety of emotions and a great passion for novelty. 

Her lifelong dream is to help make a change in the world, one small step at a time. Can be defined using tons of different opposing adjectives and thus, she calls herself "a paradox in motion." To know more about her quirkiness, check out throughtheparadox.tumblr.com

Saturday, 31 October 2015

If a girl lives alone

By Myrto, SAFIGI Volunteer




Living alone can be a great experience and rewarding on so many levels. However, if you live alone, there are some steps you need to take to make sure that your environment is safe for you. The best step to take is to remove your home address from your online profile, website or even your CV. No one needs to know where you stay unless they are an active part of your life.

Another thing is to make sure that you live in a safe neighborhood where crime rate is low. In any case, it doesn’t hurt to install an alarm system, a surveillance camera outside your home and secure the doors and windows. Always lock your doors and windows if you are going out and build a healthy relationship with your neighbors if possible so that they can help you if you have some trouble.

Do not bring strangers into your phone by any means and if someone comes to your door asking to use your phone, do not let them in, instead direct them to a public payphone nearby or lend them your cellphone to use outside. The same goes for someone who knocks at your door asking to use your toilet, direct them to the nearest public toilet.

In fact, if you do not feel comfortable about opening the door if someone is knocking, don’t open at all, whether you know the person or not. Only bring trusted persons in. Keep a trusted person or loved one on speeddial and let them know that you could call them in case of an emergency. Build a network of friends who will be able to check on you to make sure that you are alright and be a good friend and check on others too.

Another thing is keep your living space clean at all times and make sure the food in your fridge is fresh and not expired. This will help you prevent all type of diseases. If you are planning to cook, be mindful and don’t neglect the food you are cooking to multi-task, this may cause you to forget and could lead to a fire. Switch off all appliances when you finish using not only to prevent fires but to all conserve energy. Make sure your heating system works well too.


Make the most out of living alone and make your home an atmosphere that you love and is refreshing to you. Be safe.



ABOUT MYRTO

I'm studying Journalism and Mass Media Communication and I'm very passionate about human rights and equality. I tend to think the best for most people I meet and I want to live in a world where we don't need to constantly be on guard and suspicious with others, a world where everyone has equal opportunities and rights and everyone is safe. "

Saturday, 24 October 2015

If a girl feels worthless

By Claudia via UN Volunteers



What really is the price of human life? I tell you that human life is precious. Your life is worth more than precious jewels or all the gold in the world. Do you know why? Because before you were born, you did not sign a contract to be made human. You were the only fertilized of a million others to be the human that you are.  You cannot even control your heart beat or the breath that fills your lungs this very minute.

You are the only person with your fingerprint and DNA in a world that has 7 Billion people and your life is supported by a huge ball of fire just far away and near enough for you to survive. In short you are a miracle! Everything on the earth is built to support your life.

Even after all this, it is still possible to feel worthless, unloved, a misfit and unwanted. The universe is working to support your life but it’s like the people around you do not care for you as much as the nature that is here to support your living.

In a world full of 7 Billion people, you feel alone and neglected, you don’t know why no one likes you or you’ve done some things in your past that now make you feel like you don’t even deserve to be alive. Sometimes you feel disgusted and angry at the person you turned out to be. If this describes you, I would like to tell you once more, you are worth more than precious jewels.

source: myvidaspa.wordpress.com

Never judge your worth by human standards, by what media, society or friends tell you. No one is perfect so don’t let anyone tell you that you are not enough! You may feel downcast maybe because of the way you look, where you are from, what you cannot afford, your ability to read or write well, a disability, you may be embarrassed of your family’s status, you are discriminated  or maybe  because you’ve been hearing a message of defeat and never hope your entire life.

When you feel worthless, take a deep breath, imagine the nearest tree and know that it is providing oxygen just for you to live. Then think of all the people who have made your life what it is, do not ignore simple moments and appreciate them. Love yourself in all your forms and start to build a positive self-image. There are people who won’t like you no matter what and there are people who will love you in any way, stick to those who love and build you.


Love yourself, accept your defeat as lessons and when you feel worthless, remember that you are one in billions. Make your life the magic you want it to be. Love yourself.


ABOUT CLAUDIA

Claudia is Ecuadorian and Brazilian and has a civil engineering degree. She says: I am a positive person even though I have had my ups and downs in life as everybody else. I believe that with a positive attitude and hard work we can overcome pretty much anything. In my relatively short life, 

I have learnt we should only be concerned with what we think of ourselves, we should make an effort to become a person we could be proud of. I am not even close to that but I work every day to be able to achieve it. I joined the UN volunteers about a month ago and I hope I can make a difference, however small it may be. If I make someone smile or help them in any way I would have accomplished my purpose.

Saturday, 17 October 2015

If a girl wants to be promoted at work

By Manan via UN Volunteers




Choosing and advancing a career of your choice is a right you should exercise. Once you get a job, you should have equal opportunity to be recognized and even be promoted.

If you are working towards being recognized or promoted at work, keep this in mind; know when you want to be promoted – set a goal towards that but make sure that your goal is realistic and that you have a good plan set to get this promotion.

To be promoted at your work, you have to be at least good at it so make sure you improve your craft and do your best at what you do. Doing other people’s work for them will not get you promoted so avoid it because it distracts you from doing your own work properly.

Once you are good at your work, talk to your boss or supervisor about your intention to be promoted, without putting any pressure on them. Tell them your goals, how you are working toward your goal and what you expect your promotion to be and when. Be sure to mention how much of a salary increase you expect and why you deserve the raise.

Do not threaten your boss or supervisor for a promotion and avoid blackmailing or using tactics unrelated to your work to get that promotion because it might backfire. Use your aim for a promotion to advance the company and your own work experience.
Source. www.arindamchattopadhyay.com

If you have a competitor for the promotion, it is okay to let them know that you are interested in that promotion too. This prevents any in-office conflict after the promotion has taken place because everyone would know your intention. If however, you do not get the promotion for whatsoever reason do not sulk and lose interest in your work instead focus on what caused you to lose the promotion and find a way to improve that.


If you feel you have been treated unfairly at your work, consider finding a job where you will be appreciated and allowed to grow. And most important of all, choose a career you love.




ABOUT MANAN

A current high school student, Manan Modi is a rising junior at John P. Stevens High School in Edison, New Jersey. Fascinated by technology from a young age, Manan has always sparked an interest in computers. In his middle school years, Manan originally made videos on YouTube about video games, but he never knew that his hobby could be applied in real-world situations. Over the years, he has honed his talent by learning programs such as Camtasia Studio, Sony Vegas, and Adobe Photoshop CS6. 

When given the opportunity to volunteer with both the SAFIGI Outreach Foundation and the United Nations, Manan was ecstatic to learn that he could contribute to the humanitarian cause by utilizing his video-editing skills. An advocate of women's rights, he hopes to further convey his message by continuing to work with SAFIGI. 

You can view Manan's portfolio here

Saturday, 10 October 2015

If a girl self harms

By Bogdan via UN Volunteers




Self harm is an issue that many teens deal with and most do it in secret. If you are a girl who self harms, this video is for you. I know, many people do not understand what self harm is or why anyone would do it. The answer is never simple.

Self harm is deliberate injury or poisoning your body but usually without the intention of suicide. Substance abuse and eating disorders are also a form of self harm. A person who is self harming usually knows what they are doing and the reason they are doing it.

The most common reasons for self harming is to cope with underlying issues such as stress, trauma, depression, emotional or sexual abuse and personality disorders among others. Self harm is used as an expression of the feelings inside, it is a channel to let out those emotions even if the method is harmful in itself. Consequences of self harm can be life threatening infections, mental disorders and addiction to name a few.

If you self harm, firstly do not judge yourself. Accept that this is an issue you have to deal with and make a plan on how to deal with it. Setting goals to reach a point where you do not harm yourself will help you not to relapse. Recognize the real issue causing you to self harm, you cannot stop self harming if you do not deal with this issue first.

A therapist or telling a trusted friend can help you on your journey. Don’t suffer alone, there are many people who are suffering from self harm so join a social group online or offline of people who have quit self harming, this is a way to get inspiration from others that you can really be free from self harm. Find new creative and non harmful ways to deal with stress, find a hobby, get a pet or practice meditation.

Source: The butterfly project.


There is a wrong belief that people who self harm are actually just seeking attention to themselves. This is not true but that doesn’t mean the problem they are dealing with should be ignored.


ABOUT BOGDAN

Bogdan offers busy people the opportunity to find free time and create a balance between their personal and professional lives. He does this by teaching productivity principles and techniques specific to their personality using experiential techniques. Visit his website www.vaidabogdan.com



Saturday, 3 October 2015

If a girl is walking home alone

By Kamesha via UN Volunteers





Walking alone can be refreshing, reflective and most times, necessary. Depending on where you live, walking alone is not a problem but it is always important to exercise caution especially if you are walking in lonely places, dangerous areas or at night.

By all means, avoid walking alone if it is not safe. Walking in a pair is helpful but walking in groups is much more effective. This also applies to taking taxi’s or public transport especially at night.

What you want to do when walking alone is to always be aware of your surroundings and what is going on around you. It is very difficult to be aware of your surrounding if you are listening to music, playing games on your phone or texting. Doing this takes your attention away and may make you miss important signs.

Make sure your phone is recharged and you have a close friend on speedial especially if you are walking at night. Talking on the phone with your friend or loved one, updating them on where you are can also be helpful.

Avoid using one routine path so change your routine as regularly as possible. This keeps anyone from observing your commute patterns and can increase your safety. If there is a short cut that is unsafe, by all means, avoid taking it. It is better to take the long route and arrive than take a shortcut and be hurt.


The most important thing of all is to trust your gut. If you feel that something is wrong, don’t ignore it. Follow your gut feeling even if it feels irrational, this could save your life. Be safe.


ABOUT KAMESHA

Kamesha is a Chicago native. She  graduated from Eastern Illinois University. Kamesha is a  freelance writer. She and her husband, Calvin have 3 daughters, (Nalaya: 12yrs, Jael: 3yrs, and Callie: 2yrs). The family attends Corner Stone Christian center in Chicago Heights, IL. Kamesha believes in service, generosity, integrity, compassion, and honesty.

Saturday, 26 September 2015

If a girl has an abusive boyfriend

By Stela Koleva





To every person reading this who is in an abusive relationship, I have one word for you: Leave.

Abusive relations are not only physically, mentally and socially damaging but they also put your life at risk. Hard to believe, picture this; you come home and your partner punches you in the face because you forgot to turn off the tv. Or, you are minding your own business when your partner verbally insults you because they’ve had a terrible day. Or imagine being locked out of the house because you were a minute late.

Living in an abusive relationship is the same as living with a terrorist. You feel intimidated, threatened and you are always walking on egg shells. One minute you will be laughing together and the next instant they turn into a monster that terrifies you. You are not sure if that night you will sit by the fire together or if you will be left in the cold with silent treatment.

It is soooo confusing. Why would anyone have to put up with that? The world is full of people who are ready to embrace you so throw away that relationship that scars your soul or your face. Do not be too scared to leave.

Just as I mentioned earlier, living with an abuser is just like living with a terrorist so you have to be very careful when you decide to leave the relationship. The best step is to report the abuser to the police. 

Also, always secretly collect evidence of the abuse, it is difficult to collect evidence for emotional abuse but trust your gut to leave. Talk to a trusted friend or loved one about the trouble in your relationship and seek support from a therapist as well.

Bank enough money and resources to support you when you leave the relationship and never ever go back to an abusive relationship, you may not get out alive.


Stand up today and say I will not be abused. Love yourself enough to leave. Be safe.


image source: quotesgram.com



About Stela

Stela Koleva is a Bulgarian living in the beautiful city of Prague (Czech Republic), where she moved to 7 years ago. Here she is working as manager of 3 international IT Professional Services teams in Concur – an American SaaS company.

Passionate about leading and developing people and high-performing teams, Stela is mentoring and coaching many of the young leaders in her organization and acting as a VP of Membership for the local Toastmasters club.

Saturday, 19 September 2015

If a girl wants to have sex for the first time

Video by Ruchika Sharma via UN Volunteers





Article written by Diana Huaman


This is all you need to know before and after having sex.


Sex for the first time

“Make sure it is the right person, right place and the right time” is something that I think every woman has to evaluate carefully when deciding to have sex for the first time.

Virginity is something that does not return and losing it means doing it forever so that’s why you don’t have to rush, also to avoid consequences you are not looking for (such as an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease) and start your sex life positively.

No one can pressure you to have sex. It is a decision that you yourself should take and which must be fully convinced. Sex is not going to improve the relationship or help you “win back” your partner. Who really loves you, will NEVER press you (directly or indirectly) to do anything you're not sure.


What Happens During First Time Sex? 

Sexual intercourse between two people starts with both of them getting sexually excited as a result of kissing, stroking, caressing, rubbing and touching each other. This sexual excitement will result in certain physical signs: for girls/women, the vagina begins to moisten. The boy/man will get an erection.

It is important that this stimulation goes on for long enough, because if the girl is not sexually excited enough, then her vagina will not be lubricated and moist enough, and it will be difficult for the boy's penis to enter the girl's vagina (and it will hurt).

If you have got to this point, something you have to remember is that unprotected sex will put your body at risk (diseases, unwanted pregnancy) so protect yourself!

Be confident enough to suggest using a condom and make sure you both know how to use it before you arrive to this situation.


Other thing you have to know is that first-time sex can be painful or hurt sometimes, which is normal, since some girls or young women do bleed a little bit and it usually occurs because the girl has a hymen which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse.

The hymen is a small piece of thin skin which goes across the opening of the vagina and protects it when she is young. Sometimes a girl might already have broken her hymen without knowing about it (as a result of playing sports, riding a bike or horse riding, etc.) and that’s why they do not bleed.



What Happens after Your First Time Sex? 

Some people say your body changes, and your mood changes but this is not always true. What is true and what is important to know are what care you should take once you have had your first sexual intercourse.


1. You should have your first Pap smear. 

PAP is a screening test for cervical cancer. It looks for abnormal cells on your cervix that could turn into cancer over time. Moreover, PAP also shows the presence of infection or inflammation on your cervix and vagina that you might have as a result of your sexual live. 

That way, problems can be found and treated before they ever turn into cancer. Continue having a Pap smear once a year until you've had at least 3 normal ones.

After this, you should have a Pap smear at least every 3 years, unless your health care provider thinks you need them more often. Keep having Pap smears throughout your life, even after you've gone through menopause.


2.   Get the best hygiene you can

Both, you and your partner must have extra doses of personal hygiene in order to prevent diseases.


3.  Visit a gynecologist. 

Getting pregnant is not the greatest worry; there are loads of sexually transmitted diseases that you can get so visiting a gynecologist will help you to continue a normal sexual live, avoiding all this things. Gynecologist will recommend you the right birth control pills you have to take, the ways to prevent any kind of disease, etc.


These are some useful things that would be worth thinking about if you want to remain sexually active, healthy and continue having sex. And remember to don’t do anything that you don't want to do: If you're not comfortable with something, if you’re not sure, don't do it. 


About Diana Huaman

Diana, 21, from Peru is an International Business student and a teacher too. She would love to travel the world, study translation to learn different languages, start her own company one day and contribute to society through education.



About Ruchika Sharma

"I am an avid public health student and aspire to be a passionate public health practitioner. My aim is to serve the marginalised sections of society and I am a staunch believer of equity in health and of health as a human right. I am open to undertaking challenges in the field of public health My interest areas include: Women empowerment Maternal and Child health Health Economics Epidemiology and Biostatistics."

Saturday, 12 September 2015

If a girl wants to abstain

By Florence Laraiyetan via UN Volunteers




Sex is such a big deal these days. You see sex idolized in media, everywhere you look something is sexualized. It’s like the world is screaming ‘No place for virgins’ and you don’t want your friends to keep giving you that eye when they see you talking to a boy, their eyes screaming to you that ‘it’s time…’ It’s time you joined everyone in the ‘no virginity lane…’ everyone lives there anyway.

What I am here to tell you is that the choice to have sex or not, is truly yours and no one else’s. Just to let you know, you will not look any different or act any different after you have sex, the only thing that would have changed is that you will allow someone else to see the carnal you and that is the most vulnerable moment in life whether you are in a relationship or it’s just a one night stand.


Do you still need convincing? Not having sex until you are ready will save you the stress of birth control pills, worrying about STIs or STDs, worrying about if you are good enough in bed, panicking when you miss your period, thinking whether you should really sleep with every guy you date. Keep your virginity and it’s ok to keep it until you are married.

If someone is forcing you into having sex, think clearly about their intentions. Don’t just do it to get over with it, this is your body and your body is your government, never fall for peer pressure. 


image source: newhumanist.org.uk


There is nothing wrong with you. Be safe.



About Florence

Florence formed a group with secondary school girls in 2004. The major focus of the meeting was to make girls appreciate the importance of completing their secondary education without teenage/unwanted pregnancies, with good grades and implications of HIV and AIDS. Also, she was able to help some of the girls with various social and psychological problems as a result of family problems, rape, among others. this was a volunteer work.

She is a Nigerian by nationality and presently, lives in Botswana with her husband who is a Medical Doctor with the Ministry of Health in Botswana. She has three children.

Saturday, 5 September 2015

If a girl cannot fit in

By Sarah Kristine via UN Volunteers






We all want to fit in. It’s a human thing. Society tells us something is wrong with us if we can’t fit in so when we fail to be part of a group, we start to believe that there is something wrong with us.

I am here to tell you this, whether you fit on or not, there is nothing wrong with you. Humans are diverse, with different characters and failure to fit in just means you may not have found the people who share the same values as you and that is okay.

So how do you cope when you can’t fit in? Firstly, don’t feel sorry for yourself. You are not a sad story and even if no one wants to hang out with you, it doesn’t mean you have to make your own company miserable. Secondly, find interesting things you can do on your own so that you can occupy your time with something useful; read a book or practice a hobby.

Don’t be afraid to make a first move. If you are in a new place, don’t be shy to say hello first. Of course there will always be people who are not friendly, but chance is that there will be someone ready to show you around. 

Also, use social network to find people who share your interests but always be careful about sharing private information with strangers. Follow your gut and make your move only if it is wise and potentially safe. Safety first.

If the reason you don’t fit in is because you feel everyone is lower than you or not deserving of your company, then you are actually depriving yourself of a learning experience. Every person has a story and looking down on others shows that you need to improve your own character first before hanging out with other people.


I know you will find your place in the world one day. Be safe.


For more If A Girl videos, click here.



ABOUT SARAH

Sarah Kristine, 23, comes from the 7107 islands of Philippines.

She says: I strike people as weird and short fuse in some way because of my angular face. The truth is behind this mollycoddled only child is a compassionate woman who's still figuring it out what does she really want in life.

I'm not as ladylike as Audrey Hepburn but lady enough to gain respect. I am a flawed human being who choose to accept that my imperfections are not a hindrance to turn my visions into reality.


Saturday, 29 August 2015

If a girl has lost someone she loves

By Amanda Arambulo via UN Volunteers





The darkest part of life is losing someone you love. I want to let you know that you shall get through this. This does not mean that you will be able to bring back your loved one or even forget the pain that came with losing them. 

It means that while they are still gone, you will grow from the experience, yes how painful it is, but it will make you see the world a lot differently. It is not something we ask for but as long as we are mortal, we will keep losing and losing but that should not mean that all is lost.

When you have lost a loved one, allow yourself to grieve, in your own way and for as long as you like. No one can ever truly understand the pain in your soul but allow others to support you in such a dark time.

It is okay to feel cheated especially if you lost your loved one at an unexpected time or departed on bad terms but never carry guilt over someone who has passed on. Instead, focus on the strong points of the relationship you had with your loved one, those are the memories to hold on to. It is understandable that the last memory stands outs most but remember life is a journey and it is soothing to embrace each step your loved one went through in their life.

Now be mindful that death is not the only way to lose a loved one. You could lose a loved one through alienation, bitter conflict or maybe they just chose to leave on their own and abandoned you. Remember that a relationship is between two people, so if your loved one left you, do not hold it against yourself.

Take your time to heal from losing a loved one, be careful if you feel like giving away their possessions in case you might want them later. Cherish all the memories that came with your loved one and then move on. 


If your loved one had been around, you would have moved on and while we are uncertain about the afterlife, it is certain that life progresses. Do not be stuck in the past but it is okay to carry your loved one with you into your future by thinking how they would have advised you in certain situations or the things they would like.


If you have facing great difficulty with moving on, join a help group or seek the counsel of the therapist. Most importantly, don’t forget to treasure the people who are with you right now.




ABOUT AMANDA

Amanda is currently an Organizational Communication student from De La Salle University. Usually found composing songs, reading, writing stories or blogging, she's a girl with a wide range and variety of emotions and a great passion for novelty. 

Her lifelong dream is to help make a change in the world, one small step at a time. Can be defined using tons of different opposing adjectives and thus, she calls herself "a paradox in motion." To know more about her quirkiness, check out throughtheparadox.tumblr.com