When we are in a relationship with someone, we trust them not to hurt us. One of the biggest hurts that can come from a relationship is the pain we feel if we discover that our partner has cheated on us. The reason for this is we feel betrayal, every special moment looks like a lie and we start to wonder if it is our fault to be cheated on like that.
I have always believed that a relationship is two ways – it needs equal work from both people in it. If someone decides to cheat on you, they did the action, not you so the cheating is their responsibility and not yours.
If you find out your partner has cheated on you, it is okay to feel angry but don’t let your anger destroy you or lead you to destroy other things or people. Accept that you have been cheated on even if this is painful. Ask your partner for the real reason they chose to cheat. If a person cheats once, it is okay to give them a second chance but if a person cheats on you more than once, it is likely that they are a serial cheater who will expose you to emotional and psychological trauma and even sexually transmitted diseases.
So think carefully about yourself and your future before you choose to continue your relationship with the cheater. If you choose to stay, make sure that you and your partner go for testing for sexually transmitted illness, talk with your partner on how to avoid the cheating happening again, do not revenge on your partner by cheating with someone else because that makes you a cheat as well and two wrongs do not make one right. Forgive your partner and once you have buried the hatchet, do not bring back the cheating incident as a way to manipulate them, otherwise you may not have forgiven at all and should consider leaving the relationship.
Leaving a relationship is not easy but once you have been cheated on, you have to consider what is good for you in the long term. Once you have left the relationship, leave the bitterness behind and focus on rebuilding your happiness.
When you leave a relationship, check your health status to make sure that you did not contract any disease or to be sure that you are not pregnant. Surround yourself with people that you love such as family, friends or even a pet.
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This video was made possible by the UN Model Club of St. George's International School in Cologne.