Saturday, 29 August 2015

If a girl has lost someone she loves

By Amanda Arambulo via UN Volunteers

The darkest part of life is losing someone you love. I want to let you know that you shall get through this. This does not mean that you will be able to bring back your loved one or even forget the pain that came with losing them. 

It means that while they are still gone, you will grow from the experience, yes how painful it is, but it will make you see the world a lot differently. It is not something we ask for but as long as we are mortal, we will keep losing and losing but that should not mean that all is lost.

When you have lost a loved one, allow yourself to grieve, in your own way and for as long as you like. No one can ever truly understand the pain in your soul but allow others to support you in such a dark time.

It is okay to feel cheated especially if you lost your loved one at an unexpected time or departed on bad terms but never carry guilt over someone who has passed on. Instead, focus on the strong points of the relationship you had with your loved one, those are the memories to hold on to. It is understandable that the last memory stands outs most but remember life is a journey and it is soothing to embrace each step your loved one went through in their life.

Now be mindful that death is not the only way to lose a loved one. You could lose a loved one through alienation, bitter conflict or maybe they just chose to leave on their own and abandoned you. Remember that a relationship is between two people, so if your loved one left you, do not hold it against yourself.

Take your time to heal from losing a loved one, be careful if you feel like giving away their possessions in case you might want them later. Cherish all the memories that came with your loved one and then move on. 

If your loved one had been around, you would have moved on and while we are uncertain about the afterlife, it is certain that life progresses. Do not be stuck in the past but it is okay to carry your loved one with you into your future by thinking how they would have advised you in certain situations or the things they would like.

If you have facing great difficulty with moving on, join a help group or seek the counsel of the therapist. Most importantly, don’t forget to treasure the people who are with you right now.


Amanda is currently an Organizational Communication student from De La Salle University. Usually found composing songs, reading, writing stories or blogging, she's a girl with a wide range and variety of emotions and a great passion for novelty. 

Her lifelong dream is to help make a change in the world, one small step at a time. Can be defined using tons of different opposing adjectives and thus, she calls herself "a paradox in motion." To know more about her quirkiness, check out

Saturday, 22 August 2015

If a girl is liked by an authority figure

By Alinne Lopes via UN Volunteers

We all like it when the person we like has a crush on us, when someone does special favors for us or goes out of their way just to be with us. It is very exciting to love and be loved or to be really liked by someone else.

This feeling changes when the person who likes us is an authority figure; by authority figure I refer to someone who should not be interested in having a physical relationship with you, usually much older, such as a school professor, your physician, your parents friend, your friends parent or similar. This is different from being a favorite student or a young friend and by being liked, I mean the authority figure wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you.

It doesn’t matter whether you are of legal age or not but such an admiration from the adult can cause a lot of conflict. If you are under 18, no matter if the adult is good to you or if you kind of like them or hate them, do not pursue such a relationship, not even in secret. What you should do is report them to the rightful authorities, yes, even if they threaten to hurt you. Do not fear and do your best to protect yourself from them.

If you are of legal age, you also have a right to report any inappropriate relationships. If possible, get evidence of the adults behavior toward you, you could record your conversations, keep record of the text or emails sent to you or even rally the support of your friends.

The conflict deepens if you also like this authority figure. If you are of legal age and this is the case, consider why you may be interested in a relationship with this adult? Is it because of their position of power? Is it because you just want to have fun and fulfill lustful desires or because you feel obliged to pursue this relationship by the adult or even your peers? Have you considered if the adult is actually in a committed relationship, married or even has kids?

When faced in such a situation, avoidance will work best for you. Avoid this adult and no matter how you feel, refuse their advances.  Them being in an authorities position may put you at a disadvantage but by all means, avoid any instance where you have to be alone with this adult. 

Consider doing what is best for your long term future, seek the advice of trusted adults or family members and even the advice of a counselor. Do not handle such a situation alone. Call the police whenever you feel threatened. Be safe.

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Saturday, 15 August 2015

If a girl has no confidence

By Machelle Johnson via UN Volunteers

You have every reason to be confident. Do you always go out looking downtrodden, ashamed to let yourself be heard or afraid of rejection? Lack of confidence can cause all this. Being confident does not mean you won’t face rejection or some sort of trouble, being confident means no matter what happens you are still proud to be you and no one can easily make you feel worthless.

If you have a low self esteem or no confidence at all, you have to discover for yourself the reason why. Is it because other people intimidate you, do you consider that other people have it going better for them or that you are not worth it? In all honest truth, every single person goes through some sort of trouble but we mostly never see it because they never let it take over their life.

Having confidence has the potential to make your day a lot better so consider this. Before you leave your room, make sure you are looking your best and by your best, I mean that you are dressed well for yourself and not for anyone else. 

Believe that you are going to have a good day and say it out loud every time you look in the mirror when you wake up. Realize that other people are not better than you but you are also not better than them. Don’t let anyone make you feel as if you have no worth because you are worth it.

Be yourself at all times. Stop trying to fit in by trying to act like someone else, this will actually make you hide your real self and you won’t feel confident enough to show who you are. To be able to be yourself, you have to like and embrace who you really are. Groom your personality to its best.

If you are still struggling, surround yourself with true friends, people who understand you and are willing to help you. You can talk to a counselor or join a support group online or offline if this problem is affecting your quality of life. Seek the support of loving family and associate yourself with helpful colleagues. 

Avoid people who put you down and if there is someone who intimidates you, try to approach them in a friendly way and realize that they are people just like you. Don’t try to be like the coolest person you know. The coolest person you can ever be is you.

For more If A Girl videos, click here.

About Machelle

Machelle has worked for the Department of Justice for nearly 11 years and owns a pageant interview coaching business, Pageant goddesses  A few years ago, Machelle walked into a boxing gym on a whim, and she's been there ever since. A woman who didn't think she was particularly athletic for most of her life until she found boxing, Machelle's platform is women's fitness - particularly via non-traditional sports (or, as she likes to call it, "women finding their perfect fit").

           Her first pageant as a competitor was with Pride of America, where she has won state and national titles and many other awards.  Just this past May Machelle won the highest title Pride of America awards:  Queen of Queens. Visit her Website: 

Saturday, 8 August 2015

If a girl wants a role model

By Diana Brandl via UN Volunteers

Every person needs a mentor, someone to look up to and see as a role model.  A role model is a strong, trustworthy guide who possesses the quality or character that you seek in life.

When looking for a role model, ask yourself these questions. Is your role model happy with their life? Are they helpful to others? Is the life they are living something similar to the one you want to live?

Remember, role models are only human so they cannot be perfect, but make sure they hold a strong quality of what you believe in. Having a role model can give you a clear picture of the things you want out of life and will help you make better decisions for yourself.

What if you don’t have a role model? It is easy to find a role model if you really want to. Look to the people around you, your parents, siblings, teachers, the lady at the library, social workers and so on.

Many girls look to media for role models, that is okay too but always remember that you don’t really know who those celebrities are behind closed doors. Besides, if you need a mentor, your favorite celebrity might be too busy to give you one on one advice.

I hope your journey to finding a role model will be fulfilling.

Don’t forget, you can be a role model too, simply by the life you live. 

For more If A Girl videos, click here.


Diana lives in Berlin, Germany. She is 36 years old and married. She says, "My family also consists of our little dog Phoebe who brings joy to our lives each day. I am working in the field of Office Management / Communications. I am a very active supporter of my profession and constantly network with women around the globe regarding various topics."

Saturday, 1 August 2015

If a girl has a depressed friend

By Manan Modi via UN Volunteers

Is your friend depressed? Is your loved one's depression weighing you down? Are you thinking of breaking off a friendship because you cannot handle the negativity that comes with depression? And if one of your friends is depressed, are you capable of helping them? 

The thing with depression is that you cannot always tell by looking, so just because someone is smiling, does not mean that they are actually happy. 

As a friend, ask your friends from time to time if they are happy. If something was troubling them in the past, they may pretend that they have gotten over it but you must always check that they are actually okay and the best way to know is by asking, never assume.

Being a friend to someone who is depressed can be very difficult and they may actually hurt your feelings because of the state they are in. If you have a depressed friend, understand them and be there to listen to them, don’t think they are just looking for attention because most time the situation is more serious than it looks.

Help your friend to be better. Suggest a therapist for them and make sure that they take steps to becoming better. It may seem tricky to inform your friends relatives about your friends depression so make sure you know your friends relationship with his or her family before informing them. If your friend wants to keep their depression a secret, agree to do so only if they agree to seek professional help.

Do not gossip about your depressed friend, yes, talking behind their back is gossiping and the news might spread and get distorted. 

It is okay to let your depressed friend know what you have been saying about the situation to other people. Other than that, make your friend feel special when you can, remind them why you are their friend in the first place, their good qualities and the potential they can achieve.

Do not allow your depressed friend to make you depressed. If you start to feel low around them, take time out and unwind by doing the things you love. Don’t cut your friend off, instead just focus on yourself for a few until you are ok.

The best way you can be there for a depressed friend is just be there. Sometimes no words are needed, just be there. 

For more If A Girl videos, click here.

About Manan

A current high school student, Manan Modi is a rising junior at John P. Stevens High School in Edison, New Jersey. Fascinated by technology from a young age, Manan has always sparked an interest in computers. In his middle school years, Manan originally made videos on YouTube about video games, but he never knew that his hobby could be applied in real-world situations. Over the years, he has honed his talent by learning programs such as Camtasia Studio, Sony Vegas, and Adobe Photoshop CS6. 

When given the opportunity to volunteer with both the SAFIGI Outreach Foundation and the United Nations, Manan was ecstatic to learn that he could contribute to the humanitarian cause by utilizing his video-editing skills. An advocate of women's rights, he hopes to further convey his message by continuing to work with SAFIGI. 

You can view Manan's portfolio here