Everyone has a bad habit – some more bad than others – but a bad habit is just that. Bad.
The most common folk and in most cases even trusted persons have come forth as the people most likely to abuse – sexually, emotionally or physically – vulnerable kin no one would imagine they would dare hurt.
Abusive habits or bad behavior may seem innocently harmless in the beginning but as the habit grows from continual practice it becomes dangerous. So dangerous that even the nicest of persons – on the outside – could become an abuser.
WHO IS AN ABUSER?
An abuser is an individual with a compulsive addiction to: e.g alcohol, smoking, drugs, sex, pornography, violence, harming or vandalism to name just a few.
The thing with Abusive habits is that they may give the abuser a certain temporal relief but that is almost always at the expense of another individual; the victim.
And even with the so-called ‘relief’ the abuser still needs to return to the bad habit to achieve the desired feeling thus creating an abusive prison or more simply put, a repetitive cycle of more abuse with an increasing amount of victims.
HOW TO STOP A BAD HABIT
1. Acknowledge the bad Habit
Do you admit the bad habit that you have to yourself or are you in denial? The first step to healing from a bad habit is accepting that you have it and acknowledging that you need help.
The acknowledgement step is mentally preparing you for the actions you have to take to get rid of the bad habit. It is not possible to get rid of a habit if you do not acknowledge its negative effects. However, you can’t just admit you need help and yet do nothing about it.
2. Monitor Your Environment
What fuels the bad habit or what factor around you pushes you to commit to the harmful habit? The sooner you learn the root cause of an abusive problem the closer it is to control or kill the bad habit.
If something around you pushes you to a bad habit, it is best to be rid of it or away from its influence. But more than just alienating yourself from negative influence, it is crucial to seek professional help to help in your journey.
Being an abuser is made easier if there is something or someone to abuse. It is therefore important to sanitize your environment of any enticements.
3. Seek Professional Help
Professional help is effective if you are willing to heed their counsel and take the given steps necessary for full recovery. Most, if not all professionals are supposed to have their session in confidentiality and so this way you do not have to worry about everyone knowing your problem.
If willing to come out of the closet and let someone know of your problems, one can easily join the right help group. Telling a trusted family or friend can take you a step closer to complete healing and will allow someone to be on the lookout for you incase you are tempted to return to the abusive ways.
4. Relapse and Withdrawal are Part of the Process but Not an Excuse
Relapse is a big set-back to most trying to get clean from a bad habit but a relapse is dangerous if one dwells in it. Relapse should not be used as an excuse to keep going back to the abusive habit.
If you find yourself looking for reasons to relapse, then perhaps you need to rethink the real reason behind the bad habit and talk to your therapist, counselor, help group or trusted one about the desire to relapse.
5. Find an Alternative Healthier Habit
More than just stopping the habit, it is important to fill in that void with a healthier habit that you equally enjoy. If you cannot find something that fulfilled you as much as the negative habit, why not go on a soul-searching journey and see what you find there? No one said that stopping to be an abuser is easy but is something that can be accomplished.
And if you know your abusive habits have had a negative effect on someone’s life, it is best to apologize to the victim. The wounds may be slow to heal but every victim deserves an apology from the one who hurt them.
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