This post was written by Karin via UN Online Volunteering Service.
Everything a girl needs to know before getting into a relationship
When you meet a person for the first time you put on your best behavior. So does the other person. You won’t completely reveal your flaws. Once you get to know the person better you realize what kind of annoying habits the other one has. But already in the relationship it’s too late. You are all tangled up with feelings and stuff…no way to get out of that situation that easily.
All kidding aside, there are some important things to know before getting into a relationship. Those will mainly help prevent that you wake up one morning and feel like in a nightmare.
If the guy truly likes you he will wait until you got it all figured out. There is no need to rush. Following points might help you to see the situation filled up with feelings a little clearer:
You are ready to do your best for someone, every day
We are all human. We can’t be happy, perfect, and loveable 24/7. We can’t always want what our partner wants. But we can give our best effort. Our best effort to be a good partner, a good friend, a good lover, a good listener…you get my point. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being and working together. Are you willing to compromise and sacrifice? Every now and then sitting down with something and watching a TV show you hate and he loves? Going to events you find boring but are important to him? You don’t need to be perfect to do your best; you just need to be willing to give your best.
This is a fact. The guy you meet won’t be the same after a couple weeks, months, or a year. He will change! At the beginning you have this awesome guy who always pays, makes you laugh all day long, who chooses an evening in front of the TV watching “Sex and the City” instead of going out with his friends, who basically does everything for you. Once we’re committed and invested in a relationship, you’ll see the real him. I’m afraid that includes occasional burps or nights out with his friends…but a true boyfriend will still be the funny, charming, and amazing men you fell for.
You need to communicate
One of the biggest issues between men and women is the lack of communication. If you are mad: Tell him! Don’t give him little hints and hope the poor guy will figure out the problem by himself. Don’t play games. If something bothers you: Tell him! Your answer when he asks “What is wrong?” should only be “nothing” if literally everything is fine with you. He might be the type of guy that answers with a one word text. If it bothers you, let him know. Your time together is way too valuable for the “I-have-to-figure-out-why-she’s-mad-game”.
What does this commitment mean for him and you?
It is important that you define what you are together. Does he “just” want to have someone to hang out with? Do you “just” want someone to talk to and have fun with? Or, do you guys really want to work on your relationship to make it stronger and more profound. Having an on-and-off relationship can be stressful and boundaries and rules are different for everyone. A healthy relationship means constantly working on it. If one of you doesn’t want to get into something too serious it might be better to stay “just” friends.
If you want something long lasting and strong you will be rewarded with a partner who will stay strong at your side. If someone wants to be in your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it.
Karin, 23, is a world traveler currently on search of a new travel goal. She is bilingual, having been raised by a German dad and a French mom - also reason for exceptional and unnecessary strict table manners. She is studying International Business Administration.