By Duncan Aliero Muhani via UN Online Volunteers
I grew up as a responsible young man,
with good moral and sound Christian values. My mother always dedicated her time
in educating me about every aspect of development including sex education and
personal responsibility.
She believed that sex education would always help me
make safe and right decision during my involvement in sexual activities and
relationships, hence protecting me from any sexual abuse, exploitation,
sexually transmitted diseases, and unplanned pregnancies.
I joined one of the local universities
to undertake a degree. At the university the values my mum had taught me guided
me through out in my day to day endeavors. I observed high level of discipline
and moral responsibility.
During my second year of study, I proceeded to do my
internship which was part of the university requirement. I was posted in a
cargo handling port in The Information and Communication Department at the IT
support desk, with responsibilities that included but not limited to supporting
the organization employees on challenges they faced during use of computers and
related items.
One early morning, a lady made a call
to the IT support desk; she urgently needed help due to a problem on her
computer. Because I was still a learner, we left the office with one of the employees
in order to provide support to the lady. We solved her problem and went back to
the office. At around 3pm the same day, the lady made a call again.
She brought
up the same issue. This time around, I was asked to go and solve the problem. The
lady was warmer and welcoming than she was in the morning, we talked for a
while; she was very interested in knowing me; where I schooled and where I came
from.
I also got the opportunity to know more about her. We quickly created a rapport;
she said the response at the help desk is sometimes slow. And this she said
slowed down delivery of her work. She thus requested my number so that she could
directly call me just in case a problem, that requires urgent attention, arose
again. I gave her my number and left.
She would call me whenever she had an
issue and I was always happy to offer my services. One day she called me just
before 4.30 pm and asked if she could drop me in town, I quickly accepted. I
knew it was an appreciation for the good service I had been rendering to her.
The fare to town was also high and considering I was still a student, I could
not reject the offer. I felt lucky for meeting a true friend. She would drop me
in town every day and occasionally give me money.
One day she asked me out for coffee
over the weekend in a resort restaurant, I accepted as we were now close
friends. We had some good time together in a desolate place. In the middle of
our conversation she confessed to be in love with me. I was shocked as she
appeared much older than me; probably in her fifties. I knew outright that this was sexual
harassment.
I remembered the sexual morals my mother had taught me. The
challenges my mother anticipated I would one day face, had finally arrived; I
had to make the right decision. I politely told her she was much older than me
and that it would not work. We talked for a while as she tried to convince me.
I later left having disappointed her. I just never thought that would happen.
A week later, I still ended up in her
car again. I did mention amidst small talk that I had never watched 50
Shades of Grey the movie, she
insisted I come over to her place over the weekend so that we could watch the
movie together. I already had plans to check the movie out with some friends in
a local movie theater, but the cost was high so I thought it was a better deal.
I came to her residence over the
weekend for the movie date; she warmly welcomed me and took me around the house.
She stayed in the leafy suburbs of the town in a four bedrooms storied house with
a balcony overlooking the lawns, a garden, and flower beds. A spacious kitchen
with fully fitted units, with full size microwave oven, electric cooker and refrigerator,
a lounge with knole style, sheesham hardwood sofa set padded with cream
cushion, color television with free view. Bathroom fitted with thermostatic
electric shower over the bath, wash hand basin, and toilet, and electric heated
towel rail. The bedroom had twin beds with matching chest of drawers. She was
truly affluent and living large.
But she was all alone in this large
bungalow; I asked her why she stayed alone. She said she had separated from her
husband few years ago and that she had one child who was in a boarding school.
She served me with an alcoholic
cocktail, as we watched the movie. It was the first time I was taking alcohol
in my life. At first I felt a little guilty but thought it was okay. It was a
gorgeous film with a little humor, lots of luscious scenery, drama and sexy
scenes. I got drunk in the process and we ended up having sex.
This continued for a while. We would
meet over the weekend and sometime during the weekday just to drink alcohol and
we would end up having sex. The issue began taking toll on me.
I felt I had
really let myself down for not taking up what my mother had taught me. I
thought this lady was taking advantage of me. This issue really depressed me
and I become withdrawn even to my family back home. My parents noticed my weird
behavior and wanted to know if there was any issue. I told them I was okay.
I recognized the pattern of deceit
and denial I was living in. I endured the shock of revelation to my own
conscience about my mistake and decided to stop it completely. I realized that
the lady was sexually exploiting me. And that’s when I noted that sexual
exploitation can happen to either of the sexes. So I changed for a better me.
As we struggle to empower the girl
child, girls must also be educated about the values of love and respect for the
opposite sex. This understanding of equality of women and men will prepare both
to work together as equal partners in all field, thus ensuring greater appreciation
of each other. Therefore, ensuring success in the struggle and push for girl
child’s rights.
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