Ain't I A Woman
By Ashley Dye via UN Online Volunteering
If I had a dollar for the innumerable
times I’ve been called or refer to as he, him, or sir, I would be a
millionaire. Seriously, it happens so often to me that I’ve actually become accustom
to the shaming, offensive, and masculine pronouns. It’s been happening to me since I was a kid.
I grew pretty much a tomboy playing basketball, football, soccer and many other
sports. Most of my friends were guys and the role models I related to the most,
were the men in my family. Now, I’m not trying to infer that I didn’t have
women role models. I’ve just always been an adventurous and active kind of
person.
The men in my life afforded me the opportunity to live that lifestyle. I’ve
never wanted to be anything other than myself. I never thought that people
would challenge my gender simply because I wear men’s clothing. My choice of
clothing has always ventured toward an androgynous or tomboyish style. Yes, I
am very aware of my both my masculine figures and my masculine personality.
However, regardless, of my attire I’ve always indentified as woman. I just
happen to shop in both the men’s and women’s department, but does that make me
any less than a woman. It completely baffles me that some people can be so
narrow- minded and not realizing the diversity in womanhood.
As I got older I began to realize that I was
fighting for my right to be called a woman simply because of the clothing I choose
to wear, my hair and my masculine facial figures. Clothing, hair, and physical figures shouldn’t
be the only thing included when determining whether someone is a woman. We women
are phenomenal in every aspect because we have the power to be anything we want
to be, there’s no one type of woman.
We’re not all straight haired, makeup wearing, dress shopping and heel
wearing types of women. Some of us like to switch it up. For example, my attire
depends on my mood or comfortably. One day I may be in a dress with heels, and
the next day I maybe in a Polo shirt with men’s jeans and sneakers. Regardless, I still proudly profess and
embrace my womanhood.
About three years ago, I began
working as a cashier at a local gas station where I live. I had just cut off my
hair so that I could embark on a healthier and more natural look. The goal was
to start growing dreadlocks. Now, from the first day that I began working there
I would get mistaken for a man. I would get called sir, man, and dude. At first it didn’t bother me because I
thought maybe people aren’t use to seeing a woman with natural hair. However,
it began to bother me after I would correct customers and they would continue
to refer to as man. For example, I was assisting a regular customer one day
with lottery tickets and he insisted on calling me sir after I had corrected
him. Now keep in mind that this particular customer often visit the store and
was very aware of my gender.
After, getting annoyed with the constant masculine
pronouns I finally told him sir, “I am a woman” and his response was “Well! I
can’t tell.” It was right then and there that I realize that our society has a
distorted picture of what a woman should look like. It really got me thinking was my masculinity
over clouding my femininity? Should I begin wearing makeup? Or perhaps I should
just attach a sticker to my uniform that reads “I am a Woman.”
Chaka khan once sang “I’m every
woman it’s all in me” because being a woman isn’t simply based on personality,
the way she dresses or the way she wears her hair. We women shouldn’t be place in a box because
we are the very definition of diversity. Women come in all different shapes,
sizes, races, cultural and of diverse educational backgrounds.
One of the most
common misconception is that women should act and look like women. But what exactly
does that mean? Who came with this act like a woman notion? Why are we women
constantly being place in a box? When I think of the diversity in womanhood I
think of women like First Lady Michelle Obama, Erkyah Badu, Pink, Serena
Williams and Janelle Monae. These are all beautiful women who have been shamed,
demean and even dehumanize because of the way they’ve dressed, their body type,
and the way they’ve worn their makeup and hair.
For example, Serena Williams
has been subjected to some harsh and cruel criticism throughout her career as a
professional tennis player. It’s no secret that being a professional athlete
puts you in the front row seat of critics. However, I feel some critics go too
far. In life, we’re all going to be
subjected to some kind of criticism, and in many ways it’s good for our growth
into adulthood. I feel that some of the things the media has said about Serena
Williams have crossed the line. The
biggest issue for me is the constant body shaming. Instead of recognizing her for her
accomplishments as an athletic critics tend to focus on the fact, that her body
type doesn’t fit society idea of femininity and beauty.
Over
the years, I’ve read countless articles and have seen horrible tweets about to
her physique and how she’s apparently “Built like a man.” Our society seems to be intimidated by women
that don’t fit into the norm. Serena
Williams is an incredibly athletic and one of the most beautiful women in
sports today, yet so many critics go out their way to try and demean, degrade,
and dehumanize her simply because of her unique physique. I can relate to Serena Williams because I
know what it’s like to be shamed because of the way you look.
“Ain’t I a woman?” I mean, at the
end of the day “Ain’t I a woman?” Sure I don’t look like the traditional idea
of a woman. I don’t always dress in feminine attire. I have masculine figures
both physically and emotionally. However, does that make me less than a woman
or unworthy to be called a woman? Society teaches us that femininity means
looking, acting, and having particular body and facial figures. Society has
inadvertently or perhaps purposely poisoned our minds with what it means to be
a woman.
Today’s society tell us that femininity and masculinity pertains to
your gender when, in fact, it doesn’t.
Masculinity and femininity has nothing to do with gender and I believe
because of this misconception I have experience misidentification. I think that
young women everywhere should embrace who they are and not become accustom to
societies social norms pertaining to women.
Every little girl should be
encourage to be themselves and not basic on what others think. Your clothing, hair, personality, and lifestyle
choices don’t define your gender, or your womanhood. We women are divergent,
strong, and passionate and come in all different types of packages. Not all women have the Hollywood look or meet
social norms.
Be you, be brave, love
yourself and realize that not all women have to look like the women on
television or in the magazines. It’s
okay to prefer jeans over dresses. You
don’t have to wear make up to be consider feminine. For all the little girls that will be
challenge with gender identity, know that you are phenomenal, beautiful, and
very definition of strength. Never like
anyone make you feel unworthy or less than a woman simply because you don’t fit
their definition of femininity and beauty.
Comments
Post a Comment