Saturday, 28 November 2015

If a girl feels unsafe

By Claudia via UN Online Volunteering

Safety is an important element in daily life. In fact, it is so crucial to have safety that it is listed the second most needed necessity in life just after food and water, according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Safety goes beyond just taking measures to avoid incidents or accidents. Safety is a mental state as well as a way of life.

Emotional, mental, and physical health are all are integral part of being safe. What we eat, where we sleep, the relationships wenform also determine our safety level.

A lack in any of the above mentioned areas can cause us to feel unsafe. Feeling unsafe is detrimental to our wellness because it leads to fear, which can then lead to trust issues, wrong decisions or being victimized at the hands of others or circumstances.

In the above video, UN Volunteer for SAFIGI tells us what to do when we feel unsafe.

Saturday, 21 November 2015

How To Respond to Men Catcalling You

Video by Bogdan via UN Volunteers

Post written by Karin 

How to respond when men tease you (as a girl/woman) when you're minding your own business or simply walking down the street.

Imagine: You’re walking down the street. It’s a nice sunny day outside and you’re wearing your favorite dress or those cute little shorts you just bought. You feel great and you are on the way to meet your friend. You pass a group of guys and then suddenly you hear one of them say: “Look at that sexy bitch.” What is you reaction? Do you feel flattered? Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel disrespected?

This scenario of cat-calling is experienced pretty much by every woman at least once in her life.
Some might say that women overreact by disliking and feeling uncomfortable when being cat called. But who are those people who allow themselves to call out to girls and women, and judge them?

It is never ok to cat call a girl.
Once, I was walking down the street with a good friend of mine. It doesn’t matter how she was dressed at this point because the men at the side of the road would have said something in every situation. We passed by them and one of them yelled: “You should wear fewer clothes because I would love to see your curves.” My friend stopped. Turned around and went up to the guy. Her first sentence was: “Is that what your mother raised you to do when you see a girl?”, following that she gave him a whole run down on how she felt like. That she felt diminished. Disrespected. Uncomfortable. Harassed. In the end she asked him what he would do if someone would cat call his mum, sister, cousin, or girlfriend and how he would feel about it. We did not wait for his response. We left the scene.

Was that the best respond to give to this guy?
To be honest, I don’t know. There is no general response. Sometimes, it is better to not turn around and call the guy out. First of all, it is important that you don’t find yourself in a dangerous situation. A guy that is already teasing women without a reason might not be the smartest and in the worst case he can become physically aggressive. Especially, if you are walking home by yourself at night or after the club.  

When to respond?
Before you call him out make sure YOU are safe. Are people around you that could support you? People who witnessed the scene? Are your friends with you? Is there even a security man in front of a club, or a bar man that heard the guy? In some cases it is smarter to ignore whatever the person was saying and to get out of the situation as fast as you can. To walk away is not a sign of weakness! It means you chose to be the smarter and stronger person.

 How to respond to a guy teasing you?
The guy will expect you either ignore him or to shoot back a smart ass response so that he can start a discussion with you. A good way to respond is following: Go up to the guy, and tell him how you feel. Yes, he might joke around and more importantly he doesn’t want to lose his face in front of his buddies. But keep going. Get out all the verbs you have in store such as worthless, raped, diminished, disrespected, harassed, hurt, disgusted, and so on. Even if he doesn’t show a specific reaction, his brain will be racing. Keep in mind: A lot of guys don’t think they are doing anything wrong…but maybe next time he’ll think twice about calling out a girl.  

In the end it is your decision if you want to call the guy out or if you walk away without acknowledging his existence. But always be sure that you stay safe, because that is more important than teaching any guy a lesson!

Watch more here.


Karin Philippczyk
Karin, 23, is a world traveler currently on search of a new travel goal. She is bilingual, having been raised by a German dad and a French mom - also reason for exceptional and unnecessary strict table manners. She is studying International Business Administration.

Saturday, 14 November 2015

If a girl is always jealous

By Viona Muliru via UN Volunteers

How you ever been so jealous that everything else did not matter to you? Yes, jealousy can blind you. There are two types of jealousy. The jealousy when you feel lust for something that is not yours or envy someone because of who or what someone else is. And then there is the jealousy where you strongly want to protect what or who is yours from others.

The jealousy type which involves protecting what or who you love is healthy, but only if expressed in healthy ways. However, if you become overprotective of the one you love, it is possible that you will appear insecure and they may start to feel trapped in the relationship.

Always remember, just because you are in a relationship with someone does not mean you own them. Relationships should be mutual, where both of you want to stay in it every new day. If you have to build walls around you partner for them not to leave, then that becomes a dictatorship relationship, which is very unhealthy.

To deal with this type of jealousy, talk genuinely to you partner about your feelings without acting like you feel is there fault. Talk about what your partner can do to keep you from feeling jealous without compromising his standards or your relationship. Meet him halfway and lead him to meet you half way so that both of you will be part of improving your relationship.

The second type of jealousy is a dangerous one. It is also called the green eyed monster and I am sure you have felt it sometime in your life. Jealous emotions are negative feelings toward someone else because you want what it is that they have.  
This jealousy hinders your personal progress because it affects your ability to focus on yourself and positive emotions that you have potential to build. More than that, jealousy is like a poison that continues to grow if it is constantly fed. This affects emotional wellbeing and the ability to judge situations correct, besides, it is quite a burden to the heart.

If you are constantly jealous of someone else, begin by asking yourself the true reason you are jealous.  Knowing  why you are feeling jealous will help you to understand who you are and what can trigger negative emotions in you. Talk to a trusted friend or loved one about your struggle with jealousy. Stop justifying your jealousy and stop believing that other people should not be entitled to nice things just because you don’t have them.

Don’t feed the green eyed monster under your bed and it will go away eventually.