THERE IS HELP FOR YOU!

Every one has a right to seek help when in need. The biggest dilemma however is, where to seek help and whether you will actually be helped when you find that potential help. So where should we go to seek help in general?

WHERE TO SEEK HELP?????

• FAMILY. Well, generally family should be the first place we would seek help unless we are seeking help for them or  from them.
• FRIENDS. Some friends help out even more than family and if you have such a friend, hold on to them, appreciate them and even though friends help each other do not be over-dependent without recognizing the other persons needs. And be careful on this one, not everyone who says they are your friend have best intentions for you. Mentors may see ahead on what you did not see so it is best to have a mentor who leads you in the right path.
• MENTOR. A mentor is an adviser  someone who has gone ahead down the road and is helping to show you which way to go.
• PROFESSIONALS. This includes health professionals, organisations, educators, counselors and advisers, the police and generally any institution that exists to offer help.
• GOVERNMENT. The government is the people and the people is the government. When you have a problem, its the responsibility the government to take care of you.
• RELIGION. Religion has helped a lot of people cope with their lives. Other's choose that path, others do not. It is up to you after all to choose where to seek help and finding a religion has relieved many of their burdens.
• WITHIN. It is impossible to get outside help if you are not willing to help yourself from inside. his is searching within yourself to find a solution to your problem. The biggest help is the one you can give yourself. Take the first step to seek help. Be strong and courageous, you shall get through it. 

ADVICE ON SEEKING HELP

It has been said, "a problem shared is a problem solved." Like wise, many people who have sought help have found it. It is also important to have realistic expectations when seeking help;  Realistic? How?

• KNOW WHO TO ASK FOR HELP. Knowing who you need to help you is important and can save you a lot of time, frustration or even disappointment. Asking the right people is a first step to getting your problem solved.
• RELIABILITY CHECK. Focus on past events. Did the people who you are hoping to seek help from show responsibility? If not, it is unlikely they would now. Seek help from reliable persons.
• MAKE IT CLEAR WHAT YOU NEED.  Sometimes words can be misinterpreted and so in order not to get frustrated by the result always tell the helper what you expect they would do to help you.
• LISTEN. When stressed by a problem we are trying to explain and the person we want to help us does not seem on the same page with us, we could easily get frustrated and storm off. We should understand that each person has their views, we should listen to their views concerning us and not block out what they are saying if it is said in good faith. Listen and even if it is different from your plan, see it there is a possibility it could work out if its for your good and does not require some malpractice like bribe or a compromise in morals.
• PATIENCE. Say you call a friend or a professional because you seriously need help at that precise moment and assume they do not pick up. It could be really frustrating but it does conclude they do not want to help you. If they are truly your friend or a professional then they do want to help you. And they will even if they may be unavailable at the moment due to other factors.
• TRY AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. There are always people willing to help you. Some of them you may know.. Others you may not. But always search for help until you find it. Once your problem is solved, you will be glad you sought help.
• HAVE A SAFETY PLAN. When faced with a problem, have a plan set out to get you out of the problem. Plan carefully, seek counsel and advice on or offline on how to make your safety plan.

When you needed help what did you do? Have you helped anyone before? Let us know by leaving a comment or email us today; safetyfirstforgirls@aol.com

* Special Thanks to Brenda Yuen for advising us on some more tips. We appreciate your support.

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WE ARE ALL BORN FREE AND EQUAL

WHAT IS EQUALITY?

Equality is the state of being treated especially in status, rights and opportunities regardless of your gender, race, sexual orientation, age, ability, status or anything that makes us different from others.

EQUALITY IS A HUMAN RIGHT

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

That is the first fundamental Human Right; calling for everyone to be treated equally.

HOW TO ACHIEVE EQUALITY

There is still a lot of discrimination in the society we live in because certain individuals do see themselves as more superior than others, or as having more rights than others and it does not matter who these people are because we too can be like that, an obstacle to equality because we can get to be more privileged than others and we would not want to cut off some of our privileges because we feel we deserve it and well, they don't. That's the first obstruction to equality. So how, if ever can we achieve equality?

1. DEFINE EQUALITY! What does equality really mean to you? Our definition may differ but what is the definition of equality to you? That's a first step in informing about what equal is and is not to you. Compare your definitions to that of Human Rights and if they match, apply it to your daily life.
2. ACT ON IT! If you believe everyone is equal, act like it, right? It makes no difference if you say everyone is equal but do not act like anyone is ever equal to you as you're the "supreme" being.
3. RESPECT! If we really respected everyone then we would treat everyone equally right?
4. EDUCATE! So you do know that you are equal and you treat everyone equally, but did you know that some people do not know they should be treated equally as they do not know their human rights? Some do but do not even believe that the Human Rights were written for them but it was. So go out there and if you see someones rights being trampled upon, tell them about their human rights and give them the power in knowledge that they deserve better treatment because they have a right to it simply because they are human.
5. EVERYONE IS EQUAL! Yes, it needed to be said again. Everyone is indeed equal, from the man to the woman, from the boss to the floor cleaner, from the student to the teacher, from the rich to the poor, from "society's" ugly to the beautiful, from the learned to the illiterate, from the black to the white and from the able bodied to the physically challenged.  We are all equal just for the sake that we are all human.
6. EQUALITY STARTS WITH YOU! Don't wait for someone influential to start speaking of equality, then you would join the band wagon. Speak of equality, act on equality regardless of what other people say. Equality begins with you.

I assume we are on the right track with more people being treated more equally than a decade ago because of awareness.

What do you think should be done for equality to become a reality today? Let us know your views. Leave us a comment or send us an email today; safetyfirstforgirls@aol.com

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WILL WOMEN EVER ACHIEVE EQUALITY?

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NO TO EARLY MARRIAGE

Early marriages or child marriage happen more frequently than we are willing to admit and it some places it is even legal. Child marriage is marriage of someone below 18 years of age.

Image from; becauseiamagirl.ca

CONSEQUENCES OF EARLY MARRIAGE

What is possibly wrong with child marriage? The following are some reasons child marriage should be stopped;

• It IS child Abuse. Child abuse is defined as the physical, emotional or sexual mistreatment of children. Child abuse is punishable by the law.
• It leads to Teenage Pregnancies. Teenage pregnancies are risky in that they put the child born at a health risk, the mother has lower chances of surviving during child birth, may suspend the mothers education, may lead to a life crisis and/or even family crisis, increase chances of single parenting, growing up too fast and missing out on some activities that are enjoyed by peers in the same age group.
• Education is suspended because the new "child-wife" is usually required to perform all normal wifely duties and because they lack in education may be trapped in the marriage without a means of getting out.
• The health of the married child is at risk because firstly their bodies may not be ready physically, emotionally or even mentally for sex. They may be ignorant on proper contraception and reproductive services available.
• Can lead to early death as teenage pregnancy is a leading cause in teenage death. Many young mothers have a problem during child delivery as their bodies may not be ready for stress that comes with child birth.
• The child may be stuck in an abusive, non- loving marriage and may never get to reach their full potential as the woman they were supposed to be.

In urban areas many seem oblivious to the horrors of child marriage except when it is heard in the media but soon forgotten except for those striving to end it and in some rural areas child marriage may even seem the right thing to be done to a girl child.

The reality of child marriage is harsh and worse than imagined so when you hear about it, do not read, feel bad and forget about it. What you should do is read, feel their pain and act on it. Search for organisations working against child marriage and donate. Go ahead and spend a summer volunteering in a program sensitizing on child marriage. Do research and come up with solutions to the problem of child marriage. Pass on the information. Do not be a spectator and get into action. Spare a child a lifetime of horror and imprisonment in a marriage that was not of their freewill.

No one decided where they were born and neither did these girls, they could have been us and we could have been they. We would have loved if they helped give us the life we never knew we could have and so we should do the same!

Have any questions, comments or queries? Leave a comment or better yet, send us an email today; safetyfirstforgirls@aol.com

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