Saturday, 23 May 2015

If a girl wants to be independent

By Mariia via UN Volunteers

I will tell you some things you need to know about being an independent woman. First of all, independence is an individual choice. It is not forced but must be wanted. You must want independence enough to be willing to fight for it.

The benefit of true independence is that you get to rely on yourself for what you need. Believe me when I tell you that being independent goes beyond just having enough money to live by yourself, it means being free to make your own decision, feeling emotions without holding back, choosing what to believe in and how to believe it. Personal independence is a beautiful experience.

On your journey to being independent, remember that every choice has its consequences. To achieve independence you will have to work hard for yourself. Getting independent off other peoples backs is not true independence. You will also have to be responsible for yourself, when things work out you will take the praise but if things don’t work out be ready to accept your part in it.

Being independent does not mean you now turn your back on the world. A truly independent person knows when to seek the help of others. Independence does not happen in one day but if you celebrate your little independence each day, one day you will truly be free.

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Saturday, 16 May 2015

If a girl feels abused

By Dorothy via UN Volunteers

When you first think of abuse, what comes to mind? A woman with a black eye, a child that is being forced to work or sexual abuses such as rape. It is true, all this is abuse but there is so much more to abuse than what can be seen.

Most abuse happens in relationships and most abusers are people who are close to the victim. Abuse goes beyond battering, torture, forced labor or rape. Abuse also includes when you feel manipulated to stay in a relationship, abuse is when you are insulted, degraded and made to feel worthless. In short, abuse can be physical, emotional, mental or even spiritual.

A parent can abuse a child. A partner can abuse their spouse. A boss can abuse their worker and so on. This is to say, abuse can happen to anyone and can be done by anyone – never judge a person by looks, an abuser can look friendly to everyone but the victim always knows the truth.

Are you in an abusive relationship? Do you feel scared, emotionally scarred and worthless because of someone else. Are you beaten, accused or raped and then blamed for it? Yes, rape can also happen in an intimate relationship.

If you find yourself in such a situation, remember that it is not your fault! The abuser is to blame for the abuse. Break the cycle of abuse by finding a way to escape. Take evidence of the abuse being done to you so that you will have proof when you report this to the law.

If you cannot leave your abusive relationship, find tactics to avoid any encounter with the abuser. Study their habits and make sure to keep away from them at all costs. Never let the abuser know that you are planning to leave them. Tell the abuser that what they are doing to you is hurting you and do not allow yourself to be manipulated into staying with an abuser.

You only live one life, spend it with people who build you and not break you. Seek help today. Be safe. 

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If you are a witness to abuse, don't keep silent just because it is not happening to you, as well. Speak out and be the difference.


A manager with about 8 years Finance and Administration experience in diverse
fields including financial management (both in practical and training others)
Grant and Fund management, budget preparation and review, project management,
hospitality services and education. I hold a degree in Sociology and Accounting,
Part completion of ACCA and currently pursuing a masters degree in Accounting
and Finance.

A highly motivated Individual driven by results , a valuable team player who is
versatile and adaptable to different working environments.  Possession of
demonstrable skills and competences in leadership, people management, Planning
and Organizing.

She really wants to make some difference in this world through impacting positively
in the lives of others. Dorothy is married with 3 kids.

Saturday, 9 May 2015

If a girl has been cheated on

By Sarah

When we are in a relationship with someone, we trust them not to hurt us. One of the biggest hurts that can come from a relationship is the pain we feel if we discover that our partner has cheated on us. The reason for this is we feel betrayal, every special moment looks like a lie and we start to wonder if it is our fault to be cheated on like that.

I have always believed that a relationship is two ways – it needs equal work from both people in it. If someone decides to cheat on you, they did the action, not you so the cheating is their responsibility and not yours.

If you find out your partner has cheated on you, it is okay to feel angry but don’t let your anger destroy you or lead you to destroy other things or people. Accept that you have been cheated on even if this is painful. Ask your partner for the real reason they chose to cheat. If a person cheats once, it is okay to give them a second chance but if a person cheats on you more than once, it is likely that they are a serial cheater who will expose you to emotional and psychological trauma and even sexually transmitted diseases. 

So think carefully about yourself and your future before you choose to continue your relationship with the cheater. If you choose to stay, make sure that you and your partner go for testing for sexually transmitted illness, talk with your partner on how to avoid the cheating happening again, do not revenge on your partner by cheating with someone else because that makes you a cheat as well and two wrongs do not make one right. Forgive your partner and once you have buried the hatchet, do not bring back the cheating incident as a way to manipulate them, otherwise you may not have forgiven at all and should consider leaving the relationship.

Leaving a relationship is not easy but once you have been cheated on, you have to consider what is good for you in the long term. Once you have left the relationship, leave the bitterness behind and focus on rebuilding your happiness.

When you leave a relationship, check your health status to make sure that you did not contract any disease or to be sure that you are not pregnant. Surround yourself with people that you love such as family, friends or even a pet.

Do things that you love and before looking for love again, love yourself first.

To watch more empowerment videos, click here.

This video was made possible by the UN Model Club of St. George's International School in Cologne.